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There was a long moment of silence, of just the sound of breath, as Ethan looked at Todd. Todd was offering him an out, an exception. He was giving him a free pass. So why couldn’t he bring himself to stand up, to move, to take those sparks that he knew would calm his spinning mind, that would make the nausea finally settle? Still, he just felt shame. He turned his face away from Todd and looked up into the sky, his face growing sad.
This was… embarrassing. Nothing about this had gone as planned so far. Instead of getting up and chasing that high he knew waited for him, he stayed down, laying on the ground side by side with Todd. He shook his head and said, a smile on his lips, “No. No, I won’t do it. I don’t… want to. I feel more sick when I think about doing it. At least for tonight, I won’t be doing it. We should worry about you. I took more than enough to last me a week, maybe a week and a half if I’m smart about what I do.”
He waited a few more minutes, until he was sure the nausea was gone and his head had stopped spinning, and then he slowly sat up. He sighed softly and then looked over at Todd. He gave the younger man a smile and nodded at him. “Whatever you’re about to do, it’s not worse than me, Todd. You have to do this to live. It has to be this way for you. I could, and did in the past, survive solely off energy given to me by the people closest to me. I know there’s another way for me. I choose to do this instead.”
He pushed himself to his feet and stretched out his back, hearing it crack sharply. Then, he extended his hand to Todd, that same small smile on his face. “We should go inside. I was bringing you here for both of us to hunt. I know this guy’s security and it’s just him inside. If it helps, he’s running a trafficking ring out of Philly, I just haven’t been able to take care of him myself yet. I meant to come out here later this month before he leaves, but with you here, well. He’s scum, simple as. And the exact kind of guy you would eat.”