Breaking News! Violent Metas Cause Rampant Destruction of Property!
Camera pans from stage left, focusing on the impressive form of Jimmy Jonnes as he stands in front of a green screen. Without hesitation or warning, he slaps the green screen and screams, "AAAAHHH! LOOK AT THIS- LOOK AT THIS! PEOPLE-!!!"
The green screen flashes and aerial drone footage is shown of a crumpled helicopter on a torn-up landing pad. Beside it are two other helipads, devoid of their helicopters. In front of it is a slowly melting iceberg, its original size is unknown but its current size is that of a small car. Police are gathered around the scene and examining the destruction for evidence. Sharp-eyed viewers will note one cop in the bottom left-hand corner of the screen notices the drone and points at it, at which point the footage abruptly loops back and plays again.
Still standing in front, Jimmy Jonnes shouts again, "DESTRUCTION!" and slaps the green screen before throwing up his hands and beginning pacing, "Metas are a scourge upon society folks! Look at this, just look at it! A man's helipads, a man's home, a man's CASTLE! VIOLATED! Violated by who? Who Jimmy? Who did this- well I'll tell you who folks, oh I'll tell ya."
Breathing in deeply, the camera zooms in on Jimmy's face. One word is spoken, "Metas." Before the camera pulls back and shows Jimmy Jonnes stomping his foot, "Super powered freakazoids who want nothing more than to tear apart our beautiful and fair city! It just ain't right folks! But you all didn't come here to see ol' Jimmy Jonnes rant oh no you didn't! You want the scoop! The info! The DETAILS! AAAAHHHHH DETAILS JIMMY DETAILS!" From zero to one hundred and back to zero again, Jimmy continues and points at the camera, "I got the details."
The green screen flips images, showing two photos now. One is clearly of a strange, half alive half dead looking man taken at the in-opportune time of him making some weird face. The other photo is a Meta-Human Response Taskforce photo of a man wearing a red mask, red coat, and blue thermal suit. Slapping the first image, Jimmy Jonnes explains, "Meet Zombie-boy! Now I gotta tell you folks, this kid is bad news. He's a demon from the underworld, a monster set upon us by the powers of SATAN! And this-" Slapping the second photo, "Is of Metahuman most wanted, Cold Call. Ice powers, super dangerous, super menace."
"Cold Call over here, if my inside sources are to be believed, was attempting to steal helicopters! Violating the good and righteous owner's rights! No good folks, no good. But instead of letting the police handle this menace this criminal- do you know what happened? DO YOU KNOW? I THINK YOU DO! ZOOOOMBIE BOOOY OVER HERE- AAAAHH-! LOOK AT HIM- LOOK! LOOK AT HIM! HE-"
A pause, a breath, He calms down just a little, "He decides to take the law into his own hands! He takes, and I'm not joshin' ya here folks no I am not kiddin' around, not pullin' ya legs! He takes two GUNS and starts BLASTIN'! Just starts LIGHTIN' UP the whole neighborhood!"
Jimmy Jonnes screams again, "MENACE!" Before continuing in his ranting and pacing, "Who knows how many people he hurt?! How many old grandmamas are DEAD in their BEDS just WAITIN' for the police to find them?! TOO MANY I TELL YA FOLKS!" Walking up to the camera, he grabs it and continues, "HOW LONG POLICE? HOW LONG GOVERNOR? HOW MANY DEAD GRANDMAMAS?! UNTIL-" A breath, a step back, "Until the scourge of Meta-human activity becomes ILLEGAL? Meta humans MUST be reined in! We must have regulation! Now I'm against government overreach folks you know me you know my stance but metas? Metas just don't count, they gotta be stopped."
Waving at the camera, he squats down for a second and says, "Man, these metas just take it out of me. But you know what puts it back in?" He snaps up with a grin and a kick in his step, "Newlifebalance -one word!- herbal supplements! Now I tell ya folks-"
Thread is OPEN for reactions! Jimmy Jonnes publishes his media through a pamphlet distributed on the streets, YouTuube, a Radio Talk Show hour, and when he's actually on the TV, 2am. Anyone is free to post their reactions below.