Closed RP .

This RP is currently closed.
Todd's hands were ice-cold, like he didn't even retain heat. He felt them press against his, pushing into himself, guiding Connor to take his life, to kill him. Their eyes met once again, and Connor saw a familiar pain there, a hollowness. A wounded stray animal, accepting its fate, he'd seen it before in prey.

He'd seen it before in himself once, spying a look at himself in a lake, contemplating jumping in.

His grip relaxed, Connor removed his hand from Todd's throat. He sat up, and stepped off of him, leaving Todd on the floor as he sat next to him. Connor sighed, these were painful thoughts and painful memories that haunted him again. He'd long since thought them gone now, figured he could escape them if he hid in the woods long enough. Foolish really, he looked at Todd, they were very different beasts, but they shared this kinship all the same.

"We only have one soul, Todd," Connor said, he looked over at Mac and Brian, who had watched the whole display waiting for direction. "You're not half man half monster, no more than I am, we are what we are, that's it. You can't separate your natures, you can only come to terms with them... this is no different than any man really, since we all rose out of the mud, or since the Fall, every man has evil and violence inside of him, gluttony, envy, pride, lust, greed, sloth... wrath. Whatever it is, you and I? We're just stuck with our own kind of sin... what makes you who you are is what you do with the time you're given."

"Sam... if she loves you, and I believe she does, then she loves you... all of you, you're right, there's no undoing that, but that means you no longer have a choice. You have a responsibility, to her, to stay and to be with her, and to learn... learn how to be with her... and never to lie to her again."

"I spent so long-running, from everything, from the world, from people... from love... running doesn't get you anywhere Todd, unless you want to end up like me, an accursed unwanted animal hiding in the edges of the world, no friends, no family, no love... never going to have a home again... " Connor's voice cracked again, the tip of his nose tingled with the pressure of holding back tears. "You have to... understand... Wowacintanka, patience, be patient with yourself, it will take time but I... I can help, if I can... I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did."
 
Connor didn’t.

The big hand moved, and Todd was left with his own hands on his neck. He lay still for a second, then slid the hands down to his chest, to fold over each other there. Part of him was upset that he’d fallen prey to his own weakness, that he’d let Connor see that. He knew he’d never have the other predator’s respect again, not completely. But his rational thoughts set that aside. He could live with that. Especially if it meant no more exhausting dominance games.

Connor talked about souls. He talked about creation, and sin. Todd had done research, when he was younger, about what he might be, before he settled on metahuman being enough. Monster, predator, carnivore – meta. Every creature that embodied the cannibal, from the ghoul to the wendigo to the werewolf to the vampire, embodied gluttony. The consumption of flesh was the highest form of carnal desire when it came to devouring.

“I have my mind. And I have my instincts. I have two sets of wants that fit into two categories. I want to have her. I don’t know what that means. One minute I’m holding her in my arms, the next my teeth are by her throat. One minute I want to run as far from her warmth as possible, the next I’m sitting in the middle of her fire because I deserve it. Anything I do about her I love and hate at the same time, equally. It definitely feels like two souls.” His left hand gripped his overalls, right over his heart. His voice quieted, but the emotion and exhaustion left the edges ragged while he made his confession to one of the only creatures that could get it, and not want to exploit it. “I’ve made more than my share of mistakes. I– scavenged from a girl who killed herself. Who was my friend, my sister, I guess. I killed my best friend when he found out what I was. And because of what happened with him, I killed a teenage girl for not reacting fast enough when she found me. I ran, then, but I can’t stay away from people like that because – because of what I am. What I have is patience, but not what you’re talking about. My patience is the ambush. My patience is waiting for guilt to pass so I can force myself to move on. What I have is survival, because if I don’t survive, then they all died for no reason. That’s not – wowacintaka, probably. It just is. It’s me.”

His tears had stopped. The cold hadn’t, but it was back to small vibrations, not full-body shakes. He took a deep breath, and sat up. He curled in on himself, pulling his knees to his chest. His eyes were dull, now, but they held the truth of what he was saying as he put his chin on his arms and looked at the floor.

“I’m afraid, Connor. I’m afraid of what she’ll do when she knows. If she accepts, it could be worse than her being scared of me. The idea that she’ll fall in love with the thing that survives everything, instead of the person I’ve had to teach myself to be – that’s what’s scaring me.”

He raised his head to look at Connor, and the dark circles under his eyes were more prominent than ever. But rather than the fear, there was a little bit of resolution. The same determination that had made him get up with a broken rib cage the night Arlo found him. The same determination that had gotten him from Columbus to Pittsburgh after Summer.

“Because of that, I have to tell her. Please, let me have that, at least. When I’m ready. If I take too long, then – we’ll worry about it then. But I can’t tell her now. Not like this. And if somebody else tells her, and she comes to me with it, if I think she wants that violence more than –”

He sighed, not the content sigh of a predator, but the long, shaky sigh of a long-broken man.

“Then I’ll take your advice. It might be the only way to hurt her in a way she lives through.” He rested his head on his arms again, forehead first. “If that happens, I need you to be there for her. Please. She’s going to need someone. And she’s going to need to stay here long enough for me to be somewhere she won’t find me. That’s for her sake, not mine. If you can promise to do that – I’ll find a time to tell her. You have my word.”
 
Todd felt Connor come closer, and didn’t do anything to stop him. He did freeze – or at least, tense – when he felt the weight of the bigger man’s body surround him. His head lifted slightly while the animal heat pulsed through him – just to get a pair of wet tongues in the face. His nose wrinkled and he tilted his head away, but he didn’t pull away from the embrace.

He’d started crying again. He was going to be dehydrated by the end of the night. That thought was odd, but also was a relief. Because it meant he was putting his traumas back into the right boxes, so they would stop haunting him. Enough that he felt human again, under the pressure of Connor’s arms.

“I can let you.” He sighed, getting a lungful of dog and old deer meat, and he pretended to choke. He laughed as he playfully made as if trying to push Connor away. “But if this is gonna be a regular thing? I’m gonna have to ask you to shower. If I’m gonna end up smelling like you, I don’t want to smell like that.”

Wet dog, yeah. Wet dog and meat, and – at this proximity, Lapis was unmistakable. He wondered if he should mention her now, then decided to wait. This might be his one chance to convince Connor to take an actual hot shower, with soap, even if it was industrial-grade citrus soap. And – maybe he wanted a moment to recover his pride, in privacy, before even touching on Slate.

“Back of the shop, narrow hallway, there’s a set of shower stalls. Soap is under the sink. Towels are in the far cabinet.”

Things were going to be different now. What that meant was hard to say, but that was no excuse for him to stay a broken mess when there were things to be done.
 
Todd laughed off the comment about his own scent. If he’d been asked the day before what he’d do if Connor – or anyone except Sam – had kissed him, he wouldn’t have known. Probably been upset. But now, something about it felt… right. It felt like the familial kind of thing that he’d never really had before. The closest he’d come were kids like Liz, and he’d consider her a friend more than a sister, foster or otherwise.

Something about the touch soothed his inner animal, though. It didn’t make sense – Connor was supposedly a rival, an animal of a different species. Todd’s animal didn’t do packs. Not even Ethan’s pack was right for him. But whatever Connor had done, whatever boundary had just been broken between the two of them, had shifted their dynamic completely.

He’d have time to think about that, as Connor walked off to go shower. Or he should’ve had time. But when the Wolfhound finally emerged, he’d find Todd underneath the old Rover, the engine of which was already half-dissected, pieces scattered around. Small, displeased mutters emerged from the undercarriage. No part of the car had been safe from the mechanic’s inspection, made clear by the weapons that had been carefully removed from the back seat and set just outside the bay doors.

When he rolled out from under the car on his back, Todd’s face was black with oil and grease, with flecks of loose rust in his hair. He didn’t look angry, but he hardly looked happy, either.

“Connor, I’m gonna give it to you straight.” He sighed. “I think it’ll be cheaper to just buy you something new. Too much of this needs to be replaced for me to ask you to pay for all of it in a reasonable amount of time. Vik knows some guys who do rebuilds. I can talk to him about it tomorrow, but I’ll need to know your budget for that.”
 
Todd pushed himself out the rest of the way from under the car, then went over to the big sink to wash his hands before taking the money from Connor. Despite the grease and oil, he looked better than he had earlier, like the outburst had helped settle the hunger and the exhaustion all at once. The outburst, and the work, however frustrating it was in its own right.

He was quick about counting the big wad of cash. He frowned, and then counted it again. Mostly 5’s, 10’s, and 1’s, but the whole wad all told was $231. No way to know why or how Connor was carrying that much money around loose, but what Todd did know was that it wasn’t nearly enough for a car. It wasn’t enough for some car parts, even. He sighed, then looked back up at Connor, apparently unfazed by his appearance, or the fact that most of his heavy scents were gone, replaced by oddly sterile citrus.

“You don’t have any more than this anywhere? You’re sure?”
 
Todd peered over Connor’s shoulder while the big man rummaged around in the back of the SUV. Mostly, he was looking to see what in there might be valuable that he’d missed the first time around, not for personal use but to recommend Connor sell. Probably not enough for a whole car, but he remembered a few of the combat knives that might fetch a good price at pawn shops; and the collection of antlers that definitely weren’t last winter’s sheddings might get some money from the right people, too.

All of that slipped his mind when Connor turned around with a lockbox that was definitely not his style in his hands. Todd arched his eyebrows as he looked at it. He opened his mouth, about to ask Connor where he got that, then decided to go for plausible deniability – plus, he had a feeling Connor wouldn’t remember. So instead, he just nodded, took the box, and walked it over to the tool bench. He picked up a crowbar, and eased it into the gap in between lid and box.

It took a little time to get the box pried open, but – it was full. Of $100s, with a healthy handful of smaller bills. Clean and crisp. Which was almost exactly what Todd expected from a fancy, hard-to-open lockbox, and worried him just a little bit more about where Connor had gotten it, and how long he’d had it. He took a deep breath, then shook his head, and started counting.

Whoever the hell kept five thousand dollars (and change) in a single lockbox owed Todd financial compensation for having to keep a straight face as he turned back to Connor and calmly said, “Alright, this should be enough. It’ll take a few days, could be a few weeks. If you need something to borrow I could probably find you one tomorrow, but I’ll talk to Vik about the replacement for this. We’ll probably keep it as a parts car, if anything’s salvageable.”
 
Todd tilted his head again. He caught the hesitation in Connor’s speech – he had no idea what it meant, unless Lapis was at Connor’s current place of residence at this exact second and he didn’t want Todd to get involved with her. Which, completely fair. Todd wasn’t in the mood, either.

But it still felt rude not to ask.

“In that case, I could drive you tonight. My car’s not that big, but she’s serviceable, and we could make a couple of trips if we had to.” He pointed at the Colorado he’d moved to make space for the old Range Rover. “I finished today’s overnight order just before you got here. I’ve got to be back before five, but we can move at least part of your stuff, if you wanted. You could even load it up while I shower.”
 
“Cool. Give me about ten minutes to get rinsed off.” Todd rummaged in the pockets of his overalls a little until he found the Malibu’s keys, and tossed them over to Connor. “Get everything you need in there and I’ll meet you back here.”

He disappeared into the back of the shop. The orange industrial soap never banished all the smells that clung to him, but it got the oil out. He also knew from experience that the exhaustion hanging on to him would be helped by the hot water, if Connor hadn’t used it all. He’d clear his head, and come back – maybe not perfect, but better, at least. He’d still be tired, still be hungry. But that was okay. He was used to those. As long as he could wash off the emotional exhaustion, he’d be right as rain for a few more days.
 
The shower worked, and Todd came out refreshed. He didn’t have time to dry his hair completely, but it wasn’t like he was going to catch a cold. He hadn’t thought about too much while he washed; just gone back over some of the things Connor had said, that he’d already been mulling over under the poor Range Rover. He was right, obviously. Sam would have to be told, someday. He’d already known that, gone over that scenario in his head. It never ended well.

It never ended well.

He closed the bay doors as he walked past the button, enabled the alarms Vik had installed after a break-in, then locked up the shop doors. He was back in his layers, two shirts, turtleneck, collared shirt, vest, sweater, jacket. Cap over his damp hair. None of it made him any warmer, but it did make him feel whole. Human again, he turned toward Connor, and smiled again, close-lipped and without fully looking at his face.

“Alright, let me have the keys back. And I’ll need– well, actually, I guess an address won’t help me unless I want to use minutes. You just give me directions while we go.”

He opened the driver’s side door. His nose wrinkled just a little as he realized his car smelled like Connor, but was pleasantly surprised to find that didn’t make him angry. It was just an unpleasant smell now, not an enemy smell. Funny how that worked out.

He slid in, and started the engine. The CD player buzzed, and just loud enough for Todd to hear the lyrics clearly, Holiday by Green Day picked up where it left off:

Hear the dogs howlin’ out of key
To a hymn called “Faith and Misery” (Hey!)
And bleed, the company lost the war today.​

He settled, let his heart reach the music’s beat, and pulled on his seatbelt, waiting for Connor to get in and do the same.
 
Todd ran through his mental maps at Connor’s unhelpfully vague direction, placing the forests in that direction. From here… well, from here, north-east led to the other side of town before it opened to forest on the other side of the city. He flipped through the known trails in his head; hiking was a favorite hobby of his, after all. The farthest northeast trail was probably Deer Lakes. He could figure out the rest from additional directions Connor gave him, if he offered them.

“The representative from California has the floor…”

He didn’t initiate conversation while they drove. His mouth moved vaguely with the music, murmuring through the song with almost perfect matches to the lyrics. Holiday wasn’t one of his favorites, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like it. The whole album was good, and as it bled directly into Boulevard of Broken Dreams, he slipped into that, too, eyes never leaving the road ahead. He left his body language open to conversation while he drove, left hand on top of the wheel and right hand at the bottom – roughly eleven and five o’clock. Comfortable, but in control, especially once he cracked the window and lit a smoke so the smell bothered him less.
 
Todd felt the pressure of Connor’s gaze, but didn’t feel threatened by it anymore. It was a strange realization. Was it because he was in his car, in control? Was it the music? Was it what had already happened tonight? Was he just too tired? He wasn’t too tired to drive; he was aware of all of his surroundings. But he felt it in his heart like a dead weight.

He smiled anyway, because the relief in not being threatened just by Connor’s presence was a lot stronger than the exhaustion.

“I used to. I've got other favorites– ‘St. Jimmy’ and ‘Jesus of Suburbia’ used to be ones I’d listen to on repeat, and now um– now ‘She’s A Rebel’ reminds me of Sammy. Iust picked the album back up, actually. American Idiot by Green Day. I– forgot my old copy at someone’s house, back in Billings. I didn’t think to find it again until a buddy of mine took me out to karaoke. Anyway, yeah. I had a couple CDs in this genre that one of my foster brothers left behind when he graduated from the system, and I kinda got into it. Death of a Bachelor by Panic! at the Disco was another one. There was an album by The Offspring I don’t remember the title of.”

He sighed, remembering the CD case, remembering the last time he’d been to Arlo’s and decided to show off his small but sentimental collection. He knew exactly where he’d left it, too. There was just no point to going to Arlo’s house after… everything.
 
Connor nodded along with what Todd was saying, but he ha dno idea what he was talking about. He tried to remember the last time he had ever listened to music, sometimes he would hear stuff from the radios in cars, or hikers playing things on speakers (he always made a point to scare those ones away). It had always been noise, and unwelcome. Though there were older memories though, the sisters singing hymns, Sister Sophia specifically would sometimes produce a guitar or a violin, and have the children dance around to songs older than time. Those were good days.

Connor felt good that Todd was able to be open, and speak to him casually, made him feel welcome, it was comforting. For some reason, him calling Sam, Sammy, made him smile a little bit.

"Never listened to much music myself... only knew a few tunes from back home... guess it reminded me too much of people, who I was trying to avoid for the longest time."
 
Todd nodded as Connor explained his disconnect with music. An idea crossed his mind, and he found himself smiling a little.

“Well, if you’re interested in people again, I could recommend a place where you could find some of your own music. If you like this I think they had some copies left in stock, and I can ask Sammy if there’s anything she listens to she thinks you’d like. Or you could ask her, since you two have been hanging out.”

There wasn’t any accusation in the last part, which actually surprised Todd. Was he just too tired for that? Possibly. Maybe it was the fact that he’d been so willing to act to protect her. She wouldn’t need it – no, she wouldn’t need it. But she’d need good people when it came to that, people to fall back on. Connor had just proven he was good people, and he’d promised to be there for Sam. That was enough, for now.
 
Connor did take notice of how casual Todd seemed to feel about him being close to Sam... Sammy? No, just Sam. That was good, any doubt about Connor crossing some kind of line by spending time with his mate was gone.

"I'd like that... I think, what's the place?"
 
“VULTURE Records. It’s up in the Strip district. All those old warehouses that’re stores now? The owner, Kosuke, he’s cool. We did karaoke one time. I’ll– give him a heads up.”

Because it felt fair to warn the very human proprietor about… Connor. All of Connor. Especially the big guy’s apparent currency illiteracy. The last thing he wanted was to be the cause of an accidental shoplifting scenario.

While they talked, Todd followed Connor’s directions. They were leaving town. The buildings became more sparse, then started to fade out altogether. That was a good sign, given the destination was a cabin in the woods. Todd let his passenger pepper their conversation with the right turns and branches, then decided to bring up something that was kind of bothering him about all of this.

“Connor… last I checked, you weren’t planning to stick around. What changed your mind? Was it Sammy?” A pause, and then he couldn’t help the slightly wry smile as he looked sidelong at his passenger. “Or Lapis?”
 
Last edited:
It took a moment for Connor to register what Todd had said, the shock of it sending his senses spiralling for a moment. Before his entire face bloomed almost as red as his hair and he looked at Todd in a mixture of sheer terror and embarrassment. Oh God, Oh God, he knows Lapis, how does he know Lapis, why does he know Lapis, why am I afraid that he knows Lapis? He's not a threat, is he a threat? Because Lapis is my ma- no that can't be it, Todd has Sam, he wouldn't touch Lapis. Why am I scared? Todd is like my bro - oh no, I care what he thinks, I'm afraid of what he'll say. What the hell, fuck, shit, why did I leave Montana.

"Uhhhhhhhhh... well, you see, I, uh, you, she, I uh, we uh..." Connor stammered. He suddenly felt the need to dive out of the car. "Yeah, I uh, they, both, yes.... that's why I'm staying... how do-" Connor cut off the question he dreaded asking, how Todd knew Lapis, and how he knew Connor and Lapis were... involved. Though Connor suspected Todd could smell her on him, and that thought was... good? He didn't know why, but the idea that Lapis had marked him with her scent which meant she certainly smelt of him was... yes that was good.
 
The comment got the right reaction out of Connor. Todd grinned impishly, like a teenager who’d just embarrassed a friend. The big man couldn’t deny it, any more than Todd could deny lov– could deny Sam was his.

“There’s only one girl in Pittsburgh who smells like cheap perfume and ozone,” he laughed, rather than dwelling on that again. “Who she is and what you two were doing was all over you before you showered. And it's still on your clothes.”

The fear was odd, but then again, Connor definitely wasn’t the type to be easily embarrassed. He was probably overcompensating for that in the hormones department. Todd laughed again, this time with a subtle message: look, I’m not worried or threatened.

“Listen, man, it’s cool. I’m not interested in her at all. Our relationship is – roughly professional, since I didn’t really–” he paused for a second, then chewed on the inside of his cheek like he was making a decision. It didn’t take long. “Has she talked to you at all about Slate, or a guy named Obsidian?”
 
Connor was, surprisingly, reassured by this. He had been already bracing to resist the instinctual reaction of challenging Todd's claims, yet it didn't come. He was still embarrassed, but not threatened or shocked. It was shocking just how much the beast inside had already accepted Todd and trusted him.

"I met Obsidian," Connor said casually, thinking nothing of it. "He's... well, like us, sort of.... wait how do you know them?"
 
Todd drummed his fingers on the steering wheel a few times before answering. He wanted to phrase this carefully, just in case Connor had accepted what Todd refused. It felt unlikely, but… so did Lapis and Connor.

“Obsidian had a job offer for me. I turned it down, but we’ve kept in touch. He introduced me to Lapis and the others. They’re… an odd bunch. An angry bunch. But they’re coming from a good place, I think.”

He trailed off, turning down the last dirt road to the cabin. The Malibu complained, unused tot he rough terrain, but she'd be fine. Without thinking, he rubbed the dashboard with his free hand. It didn’t soothe the car, obviously. It was just a habit.
 
"He offered much the same to me, not sure why he was so interested... wanted me to... protect folk, other metas, vulnerable people, clearly he doesn't know me very well..." Connor scoffed. "I did... accept, on a limited basis, to help out here for there, didn't seem like a bad cause, but Obsidian... he doesn't smell trustworthy to me, something off about him, but, well, his offer did give me an excuse to see her again..." Connor trailed off, but then blushed again, realizing what he'd just said.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top